Zach & Zelda

Days without a serious fall: 70 Weeks since last chemo infusion: 12 Zelda : We’ve been dark for a few weeks now. Want to bring folks up to date? Zach : Fuck no. Zelda : OK, I’ll do it. After all, I started this rag. Zach : Damn straight. It’s all on you. Zelda : Fair enough. So here goes. It’s been a tough few weeks. Zach still has no feeling in his hands and feet, thanks to chemo-induced peripheral neuropathy: Big words that basically mean his feet and hands are numb —dead. It makes doing little things, like picking a quarter up off the counter, or opening a beer, nearly impossible. And he’s losing his fingernails—they turned purple and they're gradually lifting off his fingertips like the hood of a car. He keeps Band Aids on them until they completely let go. The new nails underneath are all ridges and rough edges. And he’s still bald! It feels like it’s taking forever for the hair on his head to grow back. He has no eyelashes and just a few stray eyebrow hairs. But last week we ...

Days without a serious fall: 35 Weeks since last chemo infusion: 7 Zelda : [Last night, we were in bed by 10:00 PM, and asleep by 10:15. But Zach started tossing and turning at about 2:30 AM. By 3:00 he was mostly awake. I know, ‘cause I’d been listening to his breathing change. I wasn't sleeping either. So what do you do at 3:00 AM when you can't sleep? We reminisce about the good old days.] Zach : Is it too early to get up? Zelda : Uh huh.  Zach : Dang. Those Deep Sleep CBD gummies don’t work for shit. Zelda : Too much on your mind? Zach : Uh huh. Zelda : Have you tried focusing on your breath? Zach : Screw that nonsense. Focus on your own breath. Zelda : How about distracting yourself with a happy memory. Zach : Like what? Zelda : Your favorite Valentine's day. Zach : Go on… Zelda : You surprised me with reservations for dinner at the best restaurant in town: Casa Blanca. Zach : I did. Zelda : We walked in right on time, ready for a great meal. Then they told us it woul...

Zelda : Ready to celebrate? Zach : What now? Zelda : Three good things. Zach : Hit me. Zelda : #1: It’s been 6 weeks since your last chemo infusion! Zelda : So? Zelda : You should be feeling better and better. Getting your appetite back. Less nausea. Getting over the neuropathy. Getting stronger. Zach : There you go, with your expectations again. Zelda : You are feeling better, aren’t you? Zach : Sure. Whatever you say. Zelda . Not convincing, but I’ll take it.  Zach : What’s #2? Zelda : You have physical therapy in the pool today! Zach : I get to walk on a underwater treadmill. Forwards and backwards. With Tiger yelling instructions from the deck. Yay. Zelda : You love water! Isn’t it kinda fun?  Zach : No. It’s boring as hell, actually. Zelda : What if you wore a mask and snorkel? That might put some zip in your step! It'd make me giggle. Zach : You’re always laughing at me.  Zelda : Not at you. With you! Zach : Right. You hear me laughing? Hard pass on the snorkel gear...