Where we're at: Post chemo progress report

Zelda: It’s been awhile since we’ve posted. Should we bring the folks up to date? 

Zach: What’s the point?

Zelda: It helps me make sense of things. 

Zach: Can’t you do that in your head? And do you have to post it for the world to see?

Zelda: Sure. But writing it out helps me think it through. And posting it here keeps me accountable. Plus, it’s a record of what you’re going through—what we’re going through.

Zach: Like the world needs a record of this shit.

Zelda: I need a record. It’s too easy to forget.

Zach: Not as easy as you think.

Zelda: Ok. How long has it been since your last chemo infusion?

Zach: No idea. Seems like yesterday. 

Zelda: It was almost 6 weeks ago. How are you feeling now? 

Zach: Shitty.

Zelda: Are your hands and feet still numb? 

Zach: My fingers are numb as hell. I can’t pick things up or open a beer. Packaging is my nemesis—I have no fingernails.

Zelda: You have fingernails…they’re just…different.

Zach: [Shows me his purple and black nails, some starting to lift off] They’re ghoulish! Just in time for Halloween.

Zelda: You should hand out the candy this year! 

Zach: That would really scare the kids…and their parents.

Zelda: How are your feet? 

Zach: Dead. And kinda tingly.

Zelda: They say it can take awhile to recover from neuropathy.*1

Zach: And sometimes you never recover.

Zelda: Now who’s being dramatic?

Zach: F-you.

Zelda: Do you think the massage is helping? [We’ve been massaging his hands and feet 2-3 times a day with a Theragun mini.]

Zach: Feels good when you’re doing it.

Zelda: So we’ll keep doing it. And look forward to what’s next.

Zach: What’s next?

Zelda: You’ve done your chemo. Now you’re eligible for Pluvicto—Lutetium.**2

Zach: The nuclear option. Great. What could possibly go wrong?

Zelda: Think about what could go right.

Zach: When is that coming up, again? 

Zelda: This is why I write things down. You’ll get a PET scan next week.

Zach: Another one?

Zelda: Yep. They want a good look at the tumors and their PSMA markers. Then they’ll plan your treatment. 

Zach: All this is happening when?

Zelda: In the next couple weeks. Meanwhile, you’ll keep having PT.

Zach: My once-a-week pool party with Tiger.

Zelda: You’re warming up to him, I can tell.

Zach: I do like the underwater treadmill.

Zelda: I like watching you try to walk backwards on it.

Zach: That was trippy.

Zelda: Hopefully less trippy all the time. 

Zach: Anything else you want to rat me out about?

Zelda: Not at the moment. I just want to thank all the folks out there supporting us and following our story. 

Zach: Do you really think anyone is following this?

Zelda: Hard to say, since we haven’t told our family and friends—they’re the ones most likely to care. And to be honest, I’m ok, even if no one’s following. I’m writing all this mostly for myself. 

Zach: Good. Cause if you were doing it for me, you could stop right now. 

Zelda: Haha. Copy that. 

Zach: As long as it makes you happy.

Zelda: I don’t know about happy. Sometimes it feels like I’m shouting into an abyss and waiting for an echo that never arrives. Other times, it’s more like I’m whispering into a time capsule, sealing it up, and gently releasing it out into the universe like a dream.

And so what if the echo never arrives, or the time capsule never gets opened? Just getting all these thoughts out of my head and into words I can share makes a world of difference to me.

Zach: Roger that.

Zelda: Thanks for reading, folks. And please stay tuned 💝

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*1 [About chemo-induced neuropathy: It sometimes presents as a burning sensation in the heels, or pins and needles, numbness, tingling, and loss of feeling in the fingertips (Zach has complained he can’t pick things up. Also, he feels like his feet are cold when they’re warm, or even hot, to the touch.) It can affect balance, walking, strength, and the ability to feel heat and cold. Forget about buttoning shirts or opening packaging. There’s no clear treatment for chemo-induced neuropathy, but some say low impact exercise, like swimming and biking might help. They also recommend calf stretches, finger taps (tap each finger to the thumb, one at a time), finger rolls (bend fingers, one at a time into a fist), and good nutrition: B-Complex vitamins, folic acid, vitamins E & D, and magnesium, potassium, and tonic water for cramping.] More about peripheral neuropathy

**2 [Pluvicto / Lutetium 177: A radioactive isotope used to treat metastatic castration-resistant prostate cancer after chemotherapy.] More about Lutetium 177