A tough few weeks

Days without a serious fall: 70

Weeks since last chemo infusion: 12

Zelda: We’ve been dark for a few weeks now. Want to bring folks up to date?

Zach: Fuck no.

Zelda: OK, I’ll do it. After all, I started this rag.

Zach: Damn straight. It’s all on you.

Zelda: Fair enough. So here goes. It’s been a tough few weeks. Zach still has no feeling in his hands and feet, thanks to chemo-induced peripheral neuropathy: Big words that basically mean his feet and hands are numb—dead. It makes doing little things, like picking a quarter up off the counter, or opening a beer, nearly impossible. And he’s losing his fingernails—they turned purple and they're gradually lifting off his fingertips like the hood of a car. He keeps Band Aids on them until they completely let go. The new nails underneath are all ridges and rough edges.

And he’s still bald! It feels like it’s taking forever for the hair on his head to grow back. He has no eyelashes and just a few stray eyebrow hairs. But last week we noticed a couple thick black whiskers on his upper lip and a little peach fuzz on his chin. He even ran a razor around his face last weekend —first time in months.

I used to say Zach has good days and bad days. But now it’s more like, good hours and bad hours. He can be fine one minute, and laid out on the couch the next. He's tired a lot, and spends most days watching TV. Just doesn't have the energy or motivation to do much else.

His appetite has improved, but he says he never feels hungry. He’ll drink a protein shake now and then, and he even made soup from scratch the other day. But by the time he’s through making something, he doesn’t feel like eating it. Strangely, he's been craving foods that have never really appealed to him before, like potato chips and Kit Kat bars. Empty calories, for sure, but at least he's putting something in his stomach.  

For awhile, his balance was so bad, you could knock him over with a sneeze. But he’s been going to physical therapy twice a week, and it seems to have helped. He loves water, and they have a pool with a treadmill for him to work out on—good low-impact exercise. He’s walking with more confidence these days, though he does have a toe that’s giving him grief. Seems like it’s always something.

His last PET scan showed that he’s mostly recovered from the fractures in his back, hip, and ribs (from previous falls). And they confirmed the reason he was coughing so much in September: He had pneumonia. All of that seems much better now, and he hasn’t needed any narcotics for pain since stopping chemo. He's started driving and running errands again, so that's progress.

The docs keep telling us recovery takes time. It might be months before the neuropathy goes away. Or it might never go away. They don’t know for sure. So we’re just hanging on. 

And there’s one more treatment option we can try. Now that he’s finished chemo, he’s eligible for Pluvicto: The nuclear option. Unlike chemo, it’s supposed to target just the cancer cells, and leave the good cells be. Like all these treatments, it has side effects, and potential toxicity, but we’re optimistic. 

He’ll get his first dose of Pluvicto the day after Thanksgiving.