Zach & Zelda

Months since last chemo infusion: 4 Weeks since first Pluvicto treatment: 4 Days since last serious fall: 17 Zelda : You had your first Pluvicto treatment a few weeks ago.* Zach : Yup. Zelda: Wanna tell folks about it? Zach : Why not. It’s the last thing to try —the last option .  Zelda : The last option right now .  Zach : Whatever. It might buy a little time, according to the TV commercial. Zelda : They're advertising on TV? Zach : Yeah. I guess the market for this stuff is bigger than we thought. Anyway, the commercial has a guy playing golf, and the narrator says Pluvicto helps “you be you for longer.” Zelda : Does that mean you have to take up golf? Zach : Now you’re getting it. You know, people who golf don’t actually live longer. It just seems like it. Because: They’re golfing .  Zelda : Ha ha!! So what was the actual treatment like for you? Zach : Easier than chemo. Zelda : I hope so. Anything surprise you? Zach : How friendly everyone was. Especially the nurse ...

Zelda : Are you hopeful? Zach : Are you serious? Zelda : Yeah. And I want to be hopeful.  Zach : Be my guest: Hope in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills up first. Zelda : Funny. But not fair. Zach : Hope is just another belief system. And you know how I feel about those. Zelda : You could be hopeful without having a belief system. Zach : Isn’t that just positive thinking? Zelda : Hope is so much more than that.  Zach : You’re going deep. Zelda : You want deep? I'll give you deep: Remember Dante’s Inferno? The Gate of Hell has this inscribed above it, “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” Zach : Is that where we’re at? The Gate of Hell? Zelda : Not if we still have hope. Zach : Enlighten me. Zelda : If you’re hopeless, you’re helpless. You’re powerless. There’s nothing you can do. But if you have hope, you have something. You have agency. You believe you can take action to improve things. Zach : There you go, believing again. Do you really think it’s possible to ...

Weeks since last chemo infusion: 16 .  Days without a serious fall: 12. Note from Zelda : We recently had to reset the fall counter just shy of 100 days: I was brushing my teeth when I heard the now familiar, and always bone-chilling, sound of a body hitting the floor. I raced down the hall and saw Zach, face down on the carpet with his shirt pulled up over his head. He wasn’t moving. I called his name, and when I got to him, I put my hand on his shoulder. “I’m fine,” he said. He sure didn’t look fine, but I was relieved to hear him speak. My heart pounded as he started to pull himself up. He said he was taking off his shirt when he lost his balance. As he moved, we did a quick assessment. Did he hit his head? No. Does anything hurt? Not yet. He did seem fine, and unlike previous incidents, he was able to get up fairly easily using the door frame. But as we continued to check him out, I noticed blood on his elbow: A large section of skin had split open when he slid on the carpet. ...

Days without a serious fall: 84 Weeks since last chemo infusion: 14 Zach : Why isn’t my hair growing back? Zelda : It is. Just slowly. Zach : You’re such a liar. Zelda : No, it is! Especially in the back. It's growing, and it’s sooo soft! I just want to pet you! Zach : Quit it! Zelda : How about a scalp massage? Zach : OK, that feels kinda good. Zelda : Seriously, I love your bald head. Zach : Shocks me every time I look in the mirror. I'm a chrome dome. And yet, I had to shave my face. Twice this week. Zelda : Why would whiskers come back faster than hair on the top of your head? Zach : Who knows. Zelda : What I can’t wait for is: Eyelashes. Zach : Eyelashes? Zelda : Yeah. Your eyes seem so vulnerable without them. It’s weird. Zach : Everything about me is weird right now. Zelda : You're at a strange point in life.  Zach : Understatement girl. Zelda : When you think about it, why do we even have hair? And why is it so important to us–especially the hair on our heads? Zach ...